What dreams may come
by serotonin
Summary: Safety came at the price of being alone. But Syl was tired of being alone.
1. Prelude

Syl dreamed. Almost every time she went to sleep, she dreamed. And always, always, she dreamed about Krit. Not the thin, tired looking twelve year old she had parted with in Memphis four years ago, but an older Krit. A more mature Krit, who was able to take care of himself.

Syl knew she was bad at taking care of herself. She knew that without Zack, she would have been captured many years ago. But she had always counted on having a partner, on having someone watch her back. Even when the Colonel had taught them to work on their own, she had thought that there was someone there, someone to help her through everything.

It wasn't that she couldn't handle the fighting. She was one of the best fighters in the team, and efficient at any number of other things. But taking care of herself? Always looking over her shoulder and keeping a close check on everything she did? It somehow wasn't in her nature. She worked her very best with a partner, especially when that partner was Krit.

And so she dreamed of him. Her partner, her friend, her other half. The dreams were never the same; sometimes they talked, sometimes she was forced to watch as he went through his days, sometimes she simply sat near him, saying nothing. But whatever happened, he was there, in her dreams, as he couldn't be in her life.

Zack had been the one to make them split up. After they had escaped, she and Krit had stayed together, trying to find a place to hide. They thought they had found it in a dilapidated part of Memphis after the Pulse had hit. But after only a year of living there, Manticore had found them. They wouldn't have gotten away if it hadn't been for Zack turning up at an opportune moment. And once they had lost the soldiers looking for them, Zack had made them split up. It was only safe to be on your own, he said. Safety in numbers was not a thing that X5s could ever trust in. Safety came at the price of always being alone.

And so they had split up. Syl knew Krit had been heading toward Miami initially, but when she had gone looking for him there, he was gone. It was the same thing every time; Syl finding some tiny piece of information that could lead her to him, but by the time she got there, he was gone. Always gone.

Syl had travelled over almost all of the country in the last four years. She had lived in more cities than she cared to remember. But she never stayed long. It was another of the curses laid on her; she could not be happy living in the same place for long. Zack always said it was better that way. That if she kept moving, Manticore would have a harder time finding here. But it also stopped anyone else for finding her.

Zack had told her that there were a few others out there, still alive. Max, for sure. Jondy and Zane and Brin as well. The others, she wasn't so sure of. Zack didn't want any of them knowing too much, in case they were caught and forced to reveal all they knew. And so she had to make do with the tiny bits of information Zack would slip her, or that she found out herself. He would never tell her where anyone else was, for that would be against his rule of safety alone, but he had mentioned, briefly, some names.

And so Syl searched. Mostly for Krit; he was her partner, after all. But also for the others that were out there somewhere. As long as she was alive and free of Manticore, she would continue to search for the others. For company.

Safety came at the price of being alone. But Syl was tired of being alone.


	2. Overture

Music pounded in her ears. All around her, people swayed to the beat, caught up in the music. Her latest partner was a smooth dancer, she would give him that, but he didn't have the same fire in him that burnt through her. Nothing could compare to this.

Except if it were Krit dancing along with her, a small voice in her head announced. But she pushed that thought out of her head quickly; she didn't want to think about Krit now. She hadn't seen him in over six years, and didn't think Zack would let them be on the same side of the country at the same time, let alone in the same town.

And so she danced. Let the music flow through her, like oxygen flowed through her veins. Syl had often wondered if she could live without music, whether she needed music just as much as she needed oxygen. She couldn't begin to understand how she had lived through her young years without any music.

The song ended, and she let her partner wander away. She would find a new one. She always did. No matter where she was, what kind of place she was in, she always managed to find someone to dance with whenever the music was on.

…

Zack watched as the beautiful red head spun around the room, dancing with every person that stood idle long enough. Not once did she look like she was tiring; never for even a moment did she stop dancing while the music was going. And even when the music stopped, he could see her hips swaying slightly, her fingers tapping to a beat no one else could hear.

He waited until the night was almost over before stepping onto the edge of the dance floor near where she was dancing. She would spot him soon enough, he had no doubt of that.

…

The starting notes of the last song of the night began to sound, and Syl looked around for a new partner. Without even thinking, she held a hand out to the nearest male, only to have him turn fully toward her.

Zack.

That could only mean trouble. But trouble could wait – Syl still had one last song to dance to. And she knew how much her older brother hated dancing, but she pulled him closer to her anyway. May as well make the best of a bad situation, that was her philosophy. Syl ignored the glare Zack was shooting at her, and danced.

Once the song was over, Syl allowed Zack to grab hold of her hand and lead her out of the club. The music was over, and she would have been heading out of there soon enough anyway.

…

"What is it this time, big brother? Lydecker's onto me, I need to get out of this place, and you've come to suggest a nice new home?"

"No."

"Then what? I know you didn't come all this way just to dance."

"Zane's in trouble. I need backup, and you're the closet."

"Lydecker trouble, or some other kind of trouble?"

"Lydecker trouble."

Syl nodded. If it wasn't her in trouble, it was one of the others. It was how life was for them – hide when you could, keep out of trouble when you couldn't, and help the others out of trouble when that didn't work. This wasn't the first time Zack had arrived unannounced, wanting her to help him help someone. And they all knew it wouldn't be the last.

"Is it going to be a long ride, Zack?"

"Not that long."

"Good. My bike isn't so great at the minute, and I can't afford to take a long trip on it. I'll need fuel."

"I have some spare. Syl, we need to leave tonight."

"As soon as I've got my bike, I'm ready."

"Let's go."


	3. Sonata

"I distinctly remember you telling me that this wouldn't be a long trip, Zack. My bike isn't so good at the minute, I said, it isn't up to a long trip. And you told me it wouldn't be a long trip. This is all your fault."

Syl slumped against the tree trunk, glaring at Zack. They had gotten to Zane in time – the Manticore crew knew that he was in the area, but didn't know exactly where. And since Zane had stayed put in his apartment as soon as he'd spotted the trouble, they hadn't had any luck looking for him. Syl and Zack hadn't needed to do anything more than sneak into the area, take out the two soldiers who had been about to enter Zane's complex, and sneak Zane out.

Everything had been going fine until about an hour out of town, when Syl's bike finally decided it had had enough, and sent her careening off the side of the road. Luckily, they had been travelling through a patch of woodland, and could drag the bike out of sight of the road to try and fix it.

"I can probably get this thing running again in a couple hours," Zane told Syl. "Nothing is broken beyond my ability to repair it, given the circumstances."

"We don't have an hour, let alone more than that. Manticore followed us for awhile – who knows if they picked up the track again?"

"Don't you put this on me, Zack. If you had told me exactly how long this trip was going to be, I would have told you my bike would never last long enough for it."

Zack turned to face Zane, ignoring Syl.

"Syl can ride with me from here. We should probably split up fairly soon. Are you right to set up again? Do you need anything?"

"Hold it there, Zack. What do you mean, I can ride with you? Are you telling me that you're going to make me leave my bike here? Because if you are, then I'm going to get very pissed off. Do you know how long it took me to save up to buy that thing? And how hard it was to convince the guy to sell it to me? I am _not_ just giving it up."

"I'll buy you a new one."

"You'll... _Zack!_ That isn't the point. This is _my _bike. Mine. I saved for it. I bought it. I look after it. I..."

"Syl, stop. I know it's your bike. I know that. And I understand. But we _can't_ stay here. We can't afford to. I'm sorry, baby sister, but that's how it has to be."

Syl sighed. When Zack apologized, there was no use arguing with him. He'd already made up his mind, and nothing would change it. And as much as Syl loved her bike, she liked having her brother talking to her even more. But she wasn't going to give up her bike for nothing.

"Okay. Fine. I'll leave my bike here. But only if you'll let me do one thing."

"What?"

"Let me go with Zane. Not forever, just until he settles down. I promise, once he's found a new place, I'll be out of there before a month is up."

Zack looked over at Zane, who was shooting a grin at Syl, before turning back to her.

"I don't know, Syl. Two's trouble."

"Come on, Zack. We'll be moving around a lot. We'll have twice as many eyes to look out for trouble with."

"Well..."

"It's not forever, Zack. Just a month or two."

"Fine. But if there's any trouble..."

"You'll come rescue us, I'll get an earful, you'll make me and Zane split up."

"Exactly."

Syl grinned, and hugged Zack. As she did so, she whispered into his ear.

"You still owe me a new bike."

…

Syl sank to the ground beside Zane, and leant her head on his shoulder. She'd be on long bike rides before, but never as a passenger. Not to mention she hadn't slept in a number of nights because she'd been working late shifts at a local diner.

"Tired, Syllie?"

Syl glared up at him. "I haven't been Syllie since I was little."

Zane wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and gave her a grin.

"You've always been Syllie to me. But I'll stop calling you that, if you want."

Syl shrugged, curled up closer to Zane, and closed her eyes. They were an hour or so away from Philadelphia, in what looked like it had been an old barn before the pulse. There was a patch of trees behind the barn, and thick, long grass everywhere else. They'd been watching for any sign of followers for the entire drive, and had decided that if they were being followed they would go all the way to Philadelphia. But since there had been very little traffic at all, and nothing that had followed them for more than half an hour at a time, they'd decided to stop when it got too dark to see.

"Hey, Syl?"

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you want to come with me? Not that I'm not grateful or anything. And I know that I'd jump at the chance, but... I still wonder."

"I guess I got used to always having a partner, first at Manticore, and then in the year I spent with Krit afterward. Living on my own these last six years, it's been a bit odd. I've even come to look forward to the times Zack calls me up to ask me to be backup on his latest rescue mission, because it means contact with people who know who and what I am. And besides, I miss you guys."

"I've missed everyone too. I'm a little envious of you, in a way, getting to see the others. Zack seems to have a soft spot for you."

"What? No, he doesn't."

"Then why does he call you up to help him out? Why'd he let you come with me?"

"He only calls me when I'm either close to where he is, or where he's going. And only then when he thinks he might need the backup. As for letting me come with you, well, Zack knows that I'm not always so good at always looking out for myself. It's part of the reason I move around so much. I guess he figures that I'd have been moving on soon anyway, and at least this way I have someone to watch out for my back. Plus, he knew it was the only way I'd leave my bike behind."

"Still... He's easier on you than he is on me."

"I've never given him a reason to be hard on me. And I think he'll always think of me as the quiet little sister who is always there to help."

Zane nods, and yawns.

"You get some sleep, big brother. I'll keep watch, don't you worry."


	4. Intermezzo

Syl wasn't entirely sure where they were. They had passed through so many towns in the last month that they were all a blur. Zane, however, would know exactly where they were, exactly how far they were from the last town they'd stopped at (was it Jackson or was it Montgomery?), and how far to the next town. They didn't plan anything, really. At least, Syl didn't. Zane had asked her where she wanted to go, at the start, but she hadn't been able to think of any place she particularly wanted to visit.

Syl was quite happy to simply travel from place to place, picking where they would head to next only as they were about to leave the old place. It had worked well so far – they had spent a week in Baltimore, almost two weeks in Greensboro. Another week was spent in Atlanta, before moving on again. They'd only been in the last town two days before Zane decided it was time to move on again. Which might be why Syl was having trouble remembering exactly which town it had been. It had been nothing spectacular, after all. Not that there were very many spectacular towns left now, anyway.

They had been on the road for almost six weeks now, and Syl didn't think she'd enjoyed herself quite this much in years. Travelling with Zane was an experience, one she didn't want to end any time soon. It was an exhilarating experience, but at the same time, exhausting. While she was used to moving around a lot, she wasn't used to moving quite so often as they were now. And she was definitely not used to spending long hours riding passenger on a motorbike.

Leaning forward slightly, Syl spoke softly into Zane's ear, trusting he could hear her, given their extraordinary hearing abilities.

"I think my butt is going to fall off, Zane. Stop soon, please."

Zane turned his head slightly, and flashed her a quick grin, before turning back to watch the road. Another 10 minutes passed before he turned the bike off onto a small side road. From there, it was only minutes before he found a suitable stopping place on the side of the road. Where the rest of it was covered in plant life, this spot looked like a fire had run through it not too long ago. There was room to park the bike behind the one, large, tree that remained, and no fences or bushes to stop Syl from walking however far she wanted to go.

And walking was exactly what did as soon as she was able to get off the bike. Not too far, just yet, but enough to get some feeling back into her legs. While she stretched out and walked, Zane looked over his bike, making sure nothing adverse had happened to it since their last stop. He knew, of course, that he'd have heard it if something happened, but he still checked over it. Just in case.

Some time later, though Syl didn't know exactly how long, since she'd never bothered wearing a watch, Zane called her back in from her walking. With a sigh, she wandered back to him and the bike, amused to see him leaning up against the tree, staring at the sky.

"Anything interesting happening up there?"

Zane looked back down at Syl, and scowled. "I think it might rain soon."

"Nonsense. Those clouds aren't rain clouds. You just don't like the country."

Another scowl.

"What, do you want it to rain or something? Rain means your bike would get wet. Us too, for that matter."

Another scowl.

"Quit it, Zane. I'm not going to get back on that bike for another hour, at least. When was the last time you spent 6 hours straight riding passenger on a motorbike? It's not exactly the most comfortable means of travel."

This time, he rolled his eyes.

"You just wait. Some day, you're going to have to ride passenger, and you'll find out what I already know. It's not comfortable. But then, if you don't believe me, maybe you should let me drive this time."

Oh yeah, that was definitely a glare. Syl grinned, and threw the feather she'd been playing with at him. This just made him glare harder, which caused Syl to giggle. Which quickly became uncontrollable laughter, as Zane continued to glare down at her. Finally, he looked back up at the sky, watching the clouds, and Syl was able to get control of herself.

"You have to admit, Zane, you look kind of like Zack when you glare. Only you're not quite as fear inspiring."

When he didn't look down, Syl walked over to stand next to him, and gently bumped her hip against his. That made him look down, and he gave her a soft smile.

"You know, Syl, I never quite figured out how you turned out to be the most normal of us."

Syl grinned up at him, glad that he wasn't trying to pretend to be mad anymore, and pressed up against his side. His arm curled around her shoulder, holding her gently.

"I don't know either. Probably because I was never quite as good as you guys were at all the old stuff. I didn't have quite as much to change, to fit in out here."

"Zack's proud of how well you fit in, you know that?"

Syl shook her head, looking up at him with amazement. "He said that?"

"Well, no. But he implied it. None of us is even halfway as good at fitting in as you, you know that right?"

With a shrug, Syl replied, "I'm sure that's exaggerating somewhat, Zane. I may be okay at fitting in, but it's not like you guys are bad at it or anything."

"Whatever you say, Syllie. You ready to head back out onto the road?"

"Can't we stay here? Just for the night? It's going to be dark fairly soon, anyway."

"There's no cover around here. I don't like the idea of camping out in an open field, even if it is in the middle of nowhere."

"There's a grove of trees not far from here. Couldn't we stay there?"

Zane looked down at Syl, and saw the tiredness in her eyes. They had been on the road since early that morning, with only a short break for a late breakfast many hours ago. The nearest town was at least an hours drive away, and while Zane didn't believe that riding passenger on his bike was all that bad, he knew it probably wasn't the most comfortable ride ever.

"You don't want to keep going until we find a hotel? Somewhere with comfortable beds for you to sleep in?"

"Not tonight. Tonight, I want to stay here and watch the stars and not get back on that damn motorbike."

"Show me the grove, then. I'll wheel the bike there."

…

Half an hour later, the two stood in the middle of the grove. It wasn't large, but the absence of any underbrush made it a good place to sleep, as did the amount of ground space in their current area. The majority of the grove was densely populated, with tall oak trees, but there had been a few small open areas. The one they currently stood in was the largest yet, but still had plenty of tree cover overhead.

Syl sighed happily, and sat down in the roots of one of the trees, leaning against its thick trunk. She turned her eyes upward, and saw a few stars peeking through the leafy cover. Zane watched her for a moment, before walking over to join her. He sunk down to the ground beside her, and smiled when she leaned against him.

"Zane?"

"Hmm?"

"D'you ever wonder about the others? Like what they're up to, now they're out in the world?"

"All the time. Don't you know what some of them are up to, though?"

"Only sort of. Jondy likes to work nights, cos it pays better and she doesn't need the sleep anyway. And Tinga was playing nanny to a couple of kids before we had to move her out of where she was. I didn't get to talk to Brin or Cali much. The others… I wonder if they're happy?"

"Are you happy?"

Syl gave him a small grin. "I get to travel with you for awhile. Of course I'm happy."

"Don't you miss Krit, though? Zack told me you haven't seen him since he made you split up six years ago. He made it sound like he hadn't seen him either."

"Of course I miss Krit. He's my brother. And nothing is quite the same without him. But I have you. You're different to Krit, and that's good."

"It is?"

"Yes. You make me happy, Zane. Just… in a different way that Krit does."

"I don't quite get it, Syl. I'm your brother, too."

Syl shook her head and mumbled, "Don't want you to be my brother."

Zane looked down at her sharply. "What?"

"I don't want you to be my brother."

"Why on earth not?"

With a sigh, Syl mumbled again, "Can't kiss my brother."

Zane stared down at her, not quite sure what was going on.

Syl took pity on him, reaching up to touch his face gently, before pulling it down to her own.

"Can't kiss my brother," she murmured, her lips almost touching his.

Zane gulped, and moved the tiniest fraction forward.

Syl kissed him.


End file.
